Cpl. Chris Dupee, 3 RCR and Sgt. Brian Camacho, USMC

On Saturday, March 3rd I interviewed Brian Camacho a decorated US Marine with PTSD at the Fort York Armouries in Toronto. He was flown in by Military Minds, a grassroots organization headed by Cpl. Chris Dupee who also suffers from the same, often misunderstood, disorder.

The purpose of the shoot was to capture Sgt. Camacho as he opened up to the realities of war and how it has affected his life back home in Pennsylvania.

When PTSD befalls car accident victims the general public understands them because the root cause of the trauma is relatable. When it comes to combat PTSD, soldiers are hesitant to divulge details fearing the backlash of negative repercussions even from the ones they love. They suffer in isolation, burdened by a reality that few can relate to.

Fundamentally, human relationships revolve around commonality and understanding. What happens when war changes your understanding of the human condition and isolates you from everyone who will simply NEVER understand? The sad truth is, the isolation, guilt and perpetual emptiness lead many to substance abuse and suicide. Three weeks ago, Sgt. Camacho was on the verge of ending his own life when he reached out for understanding across the border. He contacted MilitaryMinds.ca

The Military Minds Family

In a war zone, these band of brothers develop a relationship that, as a father, I can only describe as genuine love. They’d die for each other. They communicate in what would appear to us civilians as code – half sentences…knowing that their brothers would know exactly how to complete them. Love isn’t a macho word but there is no better word to describe their bond. These men are witness to the worst of the human condition. A collective, participating witness to something only a select few will ever experience.

I’ve had maybe one event in my entire existence where I feared for my life. I’ve been told by veterans that the ever present danger they live with becomes the norm. That fearing for one’s life on a continual basis dulls them to a point where laughter becomes the only recognizeably human defense mechanism they can bring to the surface. Laughter accompanies the most tragic events at war…because crying isn’t an option.

And then they’re sent home. Away from the only people that truly understand. In a world completely different from the reality they’ve lived. A place where the spectrum of human emotions isn’t stifled by constant fear. Where crying is okay. And laughing at tragedy is seen as insane.

Military Minds: Chris, Jamaal, Scott, Brian

They return to a place where paranoia no longer keeps them alive. It only keeps them awake. A place that doesn’t necessitate constantly scanning for danger. A place where a hair-trigger reaction isn’t seen as an asset…but a liability. An abnormality. A disability.

Home becomes the place where we, as civilians, perpetuate one the greatest betrayals in modern history. The treatment of soldiers returning home from war is something our respective governments, and we as people, should be ashamed of. Politics aside; humanity at the forefront: We have failed them.

Military Minds aims to change some of the key elements contributing to this empty, lonely, isolated feeling by bringing back to the soldier that which means the most to him: people who understand. Brothers.

From my own personal account, I see an immediate change in the tone, spirit and energy of conversation when soldiers speak to other soldiers. When the fundamental element of commonality and understanding is reinstated there is no longer a need for a hard protective shell.

When I interviewed Sgt. Camacho I was an outsider. Despite my deep affiliation with Military Minds, I will never be allowed into the brotherhood. I have not earned it. I will never be privy to the kind of conversations that soldiers will have with one another. I never will. And I am thankful for that. And I am thankful for them.

My status as a trusted outsider makes things difficult as a film maker whose job it is to bridge the gap of understanding between soldiers and civilians by breaking down the wall of silence. To bring to light the realities of war from the people who were there. Military Minds’ driving philosophy and the reason for their success is that they are a grass roots movement led by soldiers for soldiers.

As I interviewed Sgt. Camacho I realized two things. One, that he genuinely wanted to tell his story so that others may benefit and perhaps even be inspired by his bravery. Two, that he had his hard shell on.

It was difficult for me. I was trying real hard to relate, but I couldn’t. I asked deep questions that were met with silence, followed by a veiled, vague answer. Then it hit me. He was speaking in code. A language that only soldiers understood. He was saying half sentences knowing his brothers around the world would know how to complete them. Here I thought he wasn’t sending a message – I was wrong. The message was simply not for me…not for us. The message was for them. His brothers.

Before our interview I attached a wireless microphone to Sgt. Camacho. Even though throughout the interview Cpl. Dupee and two other soldiers were present it was only Sgt. Camacho who was really talking. Then for some reason, I pulled out the mic and began talking to every soldier in the room. Soon, they were talking to each other. And for a brief moment…I was gone. I wasn’t in that room any more. We weren’t even in Toronto anymore. For a brief moment, I was witness to four soldiers talking to each other. Relating stories and feelings and emotions to each other. They told jokes I didn’t get. They laughed at things I thought they shouldn’t have. They understood each other. They had things in common.

I thought soldiers were superhuman. It was great to see them just being…human.

The moment was fleeting. All of a sudden there was a cameraman in the room again. I felt isolated. Like I didn’t belong. Like I didn’t understand. Like no matter what I did…I’d never be part of what THEY were. And I wanted to get the hell out of there so that they could continue to be who they were. But my presence stifled that. My presence felt like a barrier to other people’s normal. And that feeling I got…slight and inconsequential as it was – allowed me some insight into what PTSD sufferers must feel like on a daily basis.

I understood the great betrayal because while I will never know what it’s like to be a soldier…they’ve always known what it’s like to be human. And after serving humanity they get the added insult of being ejected from it.

Perhaps society will never be accepting of PTSD but my experience taught me that the INDIVIDUAL can break from society’s mob mentality. People talk about supporting the troops and thanking the troops…but why not take a moment to understand them?

You know, some people will see an animal cruelty video and it will profoundly change them to become vegetarians. Somehow, society accepts that the slightest stimulus can forever change a person. But when it comes to soldiers coming home from war…we expect them to return exactly as they were? That expectation is illogical and unfair.

We can do better.

If you’d like to get a better understanding of PTSD or if you’d like to show your support I encourage you to visit www.MilitaryMinds.ca
A little understanding goes a long way.

To soldiers, past and present…Thank You.

I work in a satellite network master control.  It is a place where hundreds and hundreds of television services from all over the globe converge.   I make sure everything is good with your TV service. 

If there’s an audio or video issue it is my job to determine at which point in the signal transmission that error is originating from.

Sometimes, when it is an issue originating directly from the broadcaster I get to call places all over the United States, Canada and the world to see if work is being done to resolve the issue.

Saturday mornings are very quiet.  No one is working on anything…so the likelihood of a technical outage is reduced. 

Downside?  There’s nothing to watch on TV!

Seen here, Sensei Wu.

I get into these hyper-creative streaks where I don’t do anything but edit videos for days and even weeks on end. 

I can’t focus on anything else…only the editing projects.  I’m sure my fiance and kids hate it.  I literally walk around the house like a zombie…only getting satisfaction the moment I sit down. 

During these intense sessions…my editing desk turns into a complete disaster zone.  This picture represents the beginning stages of one such hyper-creative streak.

What’s your work station like?  Is yours messy like mine? 

One of the show pieces that vistors of the Bell broadcast centre get to see is the Bell FibeTV Master Control Room.  This room is the nucleus of BellTV’s IPTV offering and frankly, it looks pretty damn cool. 

For more information on BellTv’s FibeTV click here!

After a week of covering the 2012 Consumer Electronics Show in Las Vegas I hooked up with www.GunsandTactics.com to cover events during SHOT Show 2012.

My Toshiba laptop died and I had to rely on the desktop PC which was hooked up to a monitor that was both too big and too close.  I managed.  Some great work came out of those late nights. 

I’m not exactly sure how I got any work done in Las Vegas with so much distraction just an elevator ride away.  Editors are often faced with stalemate moments where their computer is essentially unusable as it performs tasks such as rendering or exporting videos into their final format.  Sometimes this could take hours.

During late night render and export events…I took the opportunity to put a few bucks on the Blackjack table, play slots and even grab a cocktail or two!  It was a great way to pass the time!

This photo was taken at the Stratosphere Hotel while working on CES 2012 coverage for TFO and SwafMedia’s Carl-Edwin Michel.

Between him and I, we managed to shoot/edit/direct/produce, conceptualize and host 3 segments for TV broadcast and 4 segments for web.  Not bad for a 2-man team! 

Here’s a sample: CES 2012 Video 

That intro, by the way, was created by good friend and design genius, Jan Werthwein.

These are the best things ever.  For about $10 you can turn your regular keyboard into an AVID keyboard.  They cost a fraction of what an actual AVID Keyboard costs and they are completely removeable.

I used mine to customize my Toshiba laptop!

  Check them out on Ebay.